COMEDOWN TO THE CATHEDRAL

SEPTEMBER 2024

classy crimes to pass the time

accompanied by sparkling wine

a tortured pen

line after line

it’s never quite enough

to offer meaning

offer hope

back to the altar

where i choke

upon the offerings

the gifts

the prayers

the candles melt away

the wax could harden

if i’d stay

but pious stillness

makes me sick

exhale the incense

the belief

the faith

and search for God elsewhere

open your heart

dart towards deities 

the church chokes

dealers make you sneeze

miracles come with comedowns

none of it was ever free

but you might be

keep living recklessly 

keep writing what you see

share out the lines

swallow the sting

repeat until the reckoning

that never comes

a nihilist

an optimist

mangi la sole e il buio

a perfect balancing act

never relaxed

but nothing falls

the years have fortified the walls

you still can’t breathe

still can’t believe

anything stays

except the soul

but all your classy crimes

corrupted you

to never quite be whole

trial acceptance 

trial penance

trial getting ten times worse

trial recovery to relapse

into your corrupted comforts

and collide with all

you’d left behind

whilst trying to be pure

a runaway

and nothing more

forever terrified of doors

of being settled

being sentient

i fear the blame is yours

but we’ll address that all another day

just drink your wine and pray

it’ll be fine

another glass

another line

another body

never mine

another page

another year

another calendar to buy

behold again the hands of time

tied to the clock that never stops

out of mercy

out of malice 

you’re exiled from the palace 

to keep running

to keep numbing

everything you’ve ever felt

boiling over

‘til it’s cold again

the snow puts life on hold

forget your gloves

for full effect

return to church

with your regrets

offer them up and receive nothing

but the call to carry on